Empathy At Work
By Coach Virginie Mesana
In the workplace, emotional intelligence is increasingly recognized as a key factor in success. Among the 15 competencies defined in the EQ-i 2.0 model, which I use in psychometric assessments with my coachees, empathy stands out as a competency that fosters a more harmonious and effective work environment. But let’s take a moment to explore the nature of empathy, and distinguish it from sympathy, in order to highlight why this difference is crucial in the professional sphere.
What is Empathy?
Empathy is the ability to understand and feel the emotions of others, while maintaining a certain emotional distance to honor your own emotions. This involves a deep understanding of other people's feelings and perspectives without necessarily adopting them as one's own. For example, empathy allows leaders to recognize the emotional needs of their teams and respond to them appropriately, while taking into account their own needs and those of the organization.
Adopting an empathic stance in the workplace offers several advantages. It enables leaders to:
Understand the deep motivations of their teams, leading to better conflict management and more informed decisions.
Strengthen the bonds between team members, creating a sense of belonging and increasing job satisfaction.
Foster an environment of trust, where employees feel supported and valued, which can lead to increased productivity and creativity.
Empathy or Sympathy? That is the Question!
Although often used interchangeably, empathy and sympathy are fundamentally different. Sympathy involves sharing the feelings of another person, with an intention to console or support, to put oneself in the other's shoes, to feel what they are feeling. While this may seem beneficial, sympathy can sometimes lead to emotional transfer where the boundaries between self and other become blurred. In the workplace, this can lead to taking on the emotional problems of others, difficulty in setting healthy boundaries, and ultimately to emotional fatigue, and burnout.
Empathy, on the other hand, allows for maintaining a healthy distance while being aware of others' emotions. It fosters a deep understanding without getting mired in shared emotions. This distinction is essential for leaders who seek to support their teams without taking on everyone's emotional burdens or feeling responsible for them.
Empathic Leadership in Action
To illustrate the sympathy/empathy distinction, let's consider two fictional leader profiles: Alice, who adopts an empathetic stance, and Beatrice, who leans towards sympathy.
Alice actively listens to her employees, seeking to understand their perspectives without judgment. When a conflict arises, she strives to grasp everyone's motivations and proposes solutions that acknowledge others' needs without adopting them as her own. She sets clear boundaries, to preserve herself and to allow her team to navigate their emotional challenges autonomously, while knowing they are supported.
Beatrice, on the other hand, takes every problem reported by her employees to heart, often to the detriment of her own emotional health. She tries to resolve every conflict and absorbs the emotions of her team members, leading to empathic fatigue that decreases her effectiveness and sometimes leads to discouragement.
The result is striking: Alice's team shows better cohesion, greater job satisfaction, and increased productivity, with boundaries understood and known by all. In contrast, members of Beatrice's team often remain caught in unresolved conflicts, struggle to take full responsibility for their needs, and develop an excessive dependence on their leader for emotional support.
To Conclude…
Empathy, unlike sympathy, offers a powerful means for leaders to understand and support their teams without compromising their well-being. By maintaining healthy boundaries and adopting an empathetic approach, you can encourage a more positive and productive work environment. Alice's example clearly illustrates how empathy, when properly applied, can transform leadership and team dynamics.